“If you see a friend
without a smile; give him one of yours.”
Proverb quote
Life is hard. As with
anything hard, it has rewards, but the greatest irony (and believe me I KNOW irony)
is anything gained in this life can’t be brought with you into the next
one. At least anything material gained
or unless you are an Egyptian Pharaoh.
Those guys got to bring everything with them, even their pets. If the Egyptians were right, I would want to
be buried with a camera. The only reason
is I don’t think anyone else would have remembered to bring one. Oh, and a harmonica.
A good marriage and good kids make you realize
something. You matter as an individual
in this life. If at any point you remove
yourself or one of those other individuals and the rest suffer, then you understand
what it means to matter in someone else’s life.
“It’s a Wonderful Life” explains as best it can the point I
am trying to make. In the office, after George’s
Dad dies, there is a sign on the wall that says “All you can take with you is
that which you've given away”
I remember the first time I caught that. I was an adult, and Katie was just born. We were staying in a 2 bedroom apartment in Tinley Park and we didn’t
have much. It was our first Christmas as
a family of 3 and I got choked up when I saw it. I didn’t cry, because I am not a sissy, but I
was close. But I thought then that I had
heard this concept before, many times in one form or another. You can’t take it with you or People are an
investment worth making.
But this was a different application. In fact, it so parallels Christianity in its
simplicity and execution of how a Christian should live. Our lives and our relationships cannot be
measured in a qualifying chart of summarized returns like bonuses and profits.
You matter to other living breathing individuals that they
may count on seeing you just to make it through their day. Or maybe you happen to just matter to one
person on this planet and you are everything to them.
Brandon and I were going over his spelling words out
loud. And as we were practicing he
spelled one word out of twenty three wrong.
Now Brandon
takes everything personally. He hates
failure and hates when he gets something wrong.
The word was receive. His eyes started to well up, and I thought he was going to
be ok, able to hold in the disappointment until Collin shouted “BRANDON WHY ARE
YOU CRYING! DAD, BRANDON’S GOING TO
CRY!”
Ugh.
Dismissing Collin, I told Brandon to come sit by me. He sat on my lap in the chair and I asked
what was wrong. He replied “I don’t
know…” But he knew. He is just too young to describe it and put
it into words. After he said I don’t
know he really started crying.
I spoke
kindly to him, with a bit of encouragement “Brandon , look at me.” Holding his spelling book in my hand I said
“Buddy, these are just words. It’s just
simple memorization of 23 words. On your
bike 2 weeks ago you peddled over 11 miles.
THAT was hard. You were an 8 year
old that went over 11 miles on your bike.
These letters, these are nothing, you’ll get this. Now, wipe your tears.”
He took his sleeve and wiped away a big tear that was stuck
in the corner of his eye. He looked at
me and said “Dad, can I get a piece of paper and write them down as you say
them, instead of spelling then out loud?”
Of course he could.
He ran and got paper and we went over the letters and he spelled every
one of them correctly on his sheet of paper.
I have a few years left with Brandon to break the self image he has of
himself, the image of “I make too many mistakes to try”. But I noticed that if I believed in him, he
believed in himself.
People, all people, at one point or another need someone to
believe in them. For kids, it might be parents
or grandparents. For students, it’s a
teacher. For spouses it’s their
significant other, and for Luke Skywalker it was Obi-Wan Kenobi.
What should happen in life is we should all believe in one
another. As a fallen race, we should
look to our left and right at our co-humans and realize no one does this life
right. And we all need a little help, a
little belief that we can matter to the next person, that we can achieve
something that we didn’t think we could.
What is characteristic of what we are as a race is our
inability to be helpful to those outside our view of responsibility, to be
jealous of another’s success, and to demean those of a different perspective
than our own.
John 3:16, when not being put on cardboard and shown at football
games starts with “God so loved the world…”
That, needs a longer pause than most of us Christians give
it, we so focus on the rest of the verse that the very reason for the rest of
it is this part here.
He loved every facet and variation of people. Never minimize
your purpose or existence and never allow someone else to minimize you either.
We all matter.
As far as we have fallen as a people, as far away we stand
on matters of politics or religion or are separated from each other depending
on whatever issue we feel is important for the hour of whatever day it doesn’t
matter…
Because He so loved us.
And that love gave a gift, and that gift salvages what is left of life
into something everlasting.
I don’t have time to be anything BUT a good father to my
son. He needs to know that his Dad
believes in him, that he can succeed.
And that no matter what happens, I so love him.
Not just my son, or all my kids, or wife, or friends
either. But my enemies and strangers as
well are deserving of this same kind of love.
Because they are the world and they all matter too. If I am so loved, they should be as well.
Luke 12:6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings,
and not one of them is forgotten before God?
But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not
therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.