And ye shall know them by their Fruity Pebbles...

“Everything about Christianity is contained in the pathetic image of 'the flock.”― Christopher Hitchens

When Christianity came to be it was at the death of its founder.  The people who were left were a little over 100 shut up in a room praying for, well, something.  In a moment those people were transformed, including those closest to the one murdered by the Romans under the directions of the very people that man came to be a witness to.

A following day, while before a crowd of thousands, one of those followers stood up and publicly condemned those who facilitated the murder.  In a public morning rebuke the over 100 became over 3000.  That group continued to grow while suffering persecution from the Jewish worshipers and Greek culture.

Contemporaries of the time offer little insight into what was going on, other than a “new Jewish sect” was growing.  We know it was gaining momentum with the Jews themselves before being opened to the Gentiles of the time.  Many affluent women joined from the Hellenistic culture and opened their homes to teachers of The Way.  The term “Christian” was actually a badge of shame early on in the New Testament church; and when you said you were part of the “church” you weren’t speaking about a building or denomination you were discussing the idea of being a part of something: a called out group of people illuminated by a truth that you accepted and followed, loving a God revealed to you through his begotten Son and loving your neighbor as your own life.  It was a religion born from a death, grown in persecution and had a reputation of how the followers loved one another.  

People sold land, inheritance that had been in the family for generations, so that those who had nothing would have their needs met.  Leaders were setup to be servants, given an example from a life who served others.  The one they called Lord never demanded worship, he sought people so he could know them and be known of them.  At one point he called his disciples friends.  If there was a kingdom where the top of the pyramid was flipped with the Royalty on the bottom this appeared to be it.

“We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.” - Bill Maher

Centuries rolled on, a book was assembled from different authors, a hierarchy installed, denominations set, mission focused and a desire to convert the world became a goal.  The Renaissance led with Humanistic thinking brought about the Reformation.  The men of the time questioned the deviation from the original intent of the church and its active members to worship man and a religious institution in contrast to the Author and Creator who made it all.

Soon no matter what part of theology you claimed be it Eastern Orthodox, Western denominational-ism, Catholic or Protestant the “church” ceased being about the people and passed into the execution of the process and tradition.  If you went to “church” on Sunday it was a place, not a people.  Supported by tithes and offerings, still mission minded the leaders built larger churches to house more individuals who over time became more disconnected with one another.  The vulnerability of need and weakness became a facade to right living and that facade became the belief.  People en masse no longer sold what they had to fill the need of another, at least not publicly or corporately.    A pastor today who teaches the doctrine of the original founder to a mega church of a thousand or more would be hard pressed to look at his batch of disciples and call them “friends”. 

“We keep on being told that religion, whatever its imperfections, at least instills morality. On every side, there is conclusive evidence that the contrary is the case and that faith causes people to be more mean, more selfish, and perhaps above all, more stupid.”― Christopher Hitchens

People outside these teachings can easily spot the hypocrisy of its followers.  This isn’t new, but the reaction to dealing with the hypocrisy has changed.  Early on the Apostle John, who survived many trials and wrote a few books of the bible, dealt with a leader of a group of believers who had a less than loving approach to people:  

 3Jn 1:9-11  I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority.  (10)  So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church.  (11)  Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.

The early church had no problem calling harmful and unloving behavior of other leaders out into the light.  Unkind words and actions were rebuked, not hidden.  Not only was it called out, but people were told unkind acts that hurt others showed the person committing those acts has never seen the God that sacrificed his life for them. Believers were not told to extend grace to those in leadership who were not in unity.  These people were facing persecution and death, they didn’t suffer hostile attitudes.  To do so was to allow that behavior to continue.  Paul wrote the same to his disciple Timothy:

1Ti 5:19-20  Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses.  (20)  As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.

If the called out assembly today dealt with the internal issues it has with its own leadership of this kind, would accusations and a brand of “unloving people” cease from the outside world?  Would a directional change to following the master and his example be enough to adjust the outward testimony churches have?

“One would go mad if one took the Bible seriously; but to take it seriously one must be already mad.”― Aleister Crowley

The men quoted aren’t describing the 1^st century church in scripture; they are describing the church they saw in their time.  If the fruit of the church today is a reputation hypocrisy, a lack of gratitude and a desire to keep failing leaders in place instead of rebuking them and removing them if need be then it’s not a church.

It’s a building full of people who have never seen God.

The StarFish Story Redux and in Color - As told by Brandon

My mom was coming over today at 1PM to celebrate her birthday.  I hadn’t seen her in a few weeks and I had flowers to pick up as well as a card.  Things have been busy, and everyone has been busy with things.  Katie, Collin and I pulled in at home after church.  Marianne drove separate and was already home with Brandon.

It didn’t take long when we walked into the door to get busy again.  Clean what needed to be picked up.  Let the dog out, because she pees on the fireplace stones now (Yay…), sweep the kitchen, wipe down the bathroom.  Grandma is coming over and let’s have the place look nice, because we are getting pizza!

It doesn’t make sense, but the kids clean because of it.

Everyone is busy.  Everyone is busy except Brandon.

Brandon is crying.  In the kitchen.  While we are all busy doing stuff.

“Buddy, what is wrong?”

Nothing. 

“Buddy, why you crying?”

Nada.  Just some welling up tears.

“You want to tell me privately?”

A nod.

I take Brandon back into my bedroom.  He’s still upset and won’t talk and I let him know that’s OK.  He can start talking when he calms down.  Because if you have ever tried to talk to a 12 year old boy while he is sniveling and snot sucking tears it’s as effective as talking to a 42 year old man doing the same thing.  You just let that happen.

Finally, Brandon breaks.

“Dad, you remember the video this morning in church?”  

Of course I did.  It was a video, called "The Least" where the church left the building after hearing the message of the day and went out to live their lives, busy.  Busy and ignoring others.

The Least -Video

And immediately I knew.  I knew why he was hurting.

On the way home from church, on the corner of 131^st and Bell Road, was a woman standing with the sign.  I couldn’t make much out as I turned the corner in a hurry to get home but I saw the last words written: “GOD BLESS YOU”.

“Dad, nobody was stopping.  Nobody cared.  Mom didn’t care, she just kept driving!”

And he was hurting again.  He was hurting and a video that was meant to prove a point about how the church wasn’t caring anymore was being lived out right in front of his eyes.  Not just his Mom, but his Dad, too.

I looked at him.  “You want to go help her?”

A nod.  A sniffle.

“Let’s go.”

A young man is walking along the ocean and

sees a beach on which thousands and thousands

of starfish have washed ashore. Further along

he sees an old man, walking slowly and

stooping often, picking up one starfish after

another and tossing each one gently into the

ocean.

On the way to pick up gift cards and food, Brandon asked again.  “Dad, why didn’t mom care?”  I had to explain to him that people do care.  That his mom was trying to get home to finish making a nice place for MY Mom and Step-dad who we haven’t seen in weeks and were coming by.  How we get busy doing things for others and sometimes we lose sight of “the least of these” as Christians and forget, not on purpose, but in our cares for others we miss opportunities.

 “Why are you throwing starfish into the

ocean?,” he asks. “Because the sun is up and the tide is going out

and if I don’t throw them further in they will die.”

“But, old man, don’t you realize there are miles

and miles of beach and starfish all along it!

You can’t possibly save them all, you can’t even

save one-tenth of them. In fact, even if you

work all day, your efforts won’t make any

difference at all.”

We stopped at the corner of 131st and Bell.  She told us her name was Kristin.  She had a falling out with her Dad a while ago and hasn’t been home since.  He lives in Palos and he has seen her standing on the corner, but never stops.  The cuts on her arm, the track marks and burns covering her can give an idea of what kind of disagreements her Dad may have had with her.  Enough people gave up on her.

But Brandon didn’t.  

I introduced Brandon to her, explained why we were there and what Brandon learned in church today.  I gave her my info if she needed someone to call.  The church address if she ever needed to stop by and asked her if she had a home church that could take care of her.

Christians don’t just care for the body, we care for the soul…

…when we aren’t being busy.

She said she had enough to stay at a 4 hour motel tonight.  So she could get some sleep.  I gave her the gift cards for food and the lunch we brought her.  And then we left.

I looked at Brandon on the way home and I said to him “Buddy, guard that heart.  The one that cares for people, the one that breaks for people in need.  Guard that and never let this cynical world take it from you.  There is a verse that says ‘Guard your heart, for out of it flows the issues of life’. Don’t ever give up on people.”

I saw the woman on the way home.  I saw her and inside I felt that pang that there is someone in need.  But someone else will help.  Someone else will step up.

And someone did.  It was my son.

The old man listened calmly and then bent

down to pick up another starfish and threw it

into the sea. “It made a difference to that one.”

The Talk

The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.

Proverbs 22:3

Religion and institutions of authority are separate entities.  Both bring order and a semblance of peace to the practitioner but if in an unbalanced or abusive relationship with either occurs then the offenses that happen can lead to horrible and scarring experiences.  Some individuals end up at a church because it is a last hope to try on the path of a broken life; others see the military as a proper authority and place that corrective action can be obtained to straighten out the wrinkles of a few bad choices from youth.

Trust builds up in the system, faith builds in leadership and a mentality that a religion or an outside authority is a safe harbor for family, friends and a person is given.  Most of the time, it proves true.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  

Sometimes that trust is violated or betrayed.

When the latter occurs, the response that follows after the failure is almost always more important to the person than what benefit was obtained before it.  

Eight years ago while doing my IT job, I met “Angie”.  She placed a call to me to try and sell hardware, software and consulting services.  Most of the times when these people call you, they want to take you to lunch and buy your loyalty and a few minutes of your time.  Sometimes it works, depending on the restaurants they offer to take you to.  And that’s awesome.

We went out to lunch and she handed me the folder of her company’s services and as any good salesman does, they talk about everything but the folder first to establish a rapport before you buy anything.  Because you aren’t buying a product, you are cultivating a relationship that then gets you to buy a product.  This is sales. 

Everyone has a story, be willing to listen.

As we talked further, we chatted about family, kids, moving around, experiences and church.

Church.  It seems I had my own stories and so did Angie.  Both Christians at the time, I was still in church but she wasn’t.  I started going as an adult at 21, she left around that same time period.  We talked for a bit longer and we hit a spot where she told me why.

Someone at the church, in authority, violated trust.  They abused their position and took hold of an opportunity in a basement and robbed a young woman of her innocence and inevitably her practice in that faith.  

I had to reach out to Angie tonight; I haven’t talked to her in years.  But I wanted to get her permission to tell her story, because recently I had to share it with my daughter, and it wasn’t my story to tell. 

She told me to blog it, so that others would know too.

Angie’s dad went to the Pastor of the church to expose it, but the leadership there wanted to cover it up, deal with it internally.  This is where a good father steps up and overrides stupidity and heads straight to the police.  You don’t ever cover this up.  You drag this into the light and you expose people like this for who they are, because as I found out from Angie tonight, these people do it again until someone stands up and makes them stop. 

Recently, I sat my daughter Katie down and had this talk.  Sometimes, the wrong people are in charge.  Sometimes things happen that aren’t your fault.  Sometimes adults still act like they are in High School and make stupid decisions.  Sometimes adults around these people are so oblivious to the environment they have allowed themselves to perpetuate these events, it’s abhorrent.  And everyone must own up to the part they played in it.

Some men in charge prey upon a certain personality type that has been wounded already and are fine with manipulating these people again.

Sometimes, people are just evil.

And my just turned teenaged daughter had to hear about the stupidity of some people she looked up to.  Where this pattern could start, how she could be affected and most importantly if something like this ever happens to her, it’s not her fault.  And if it does happen to her then tell someone.  Don’t bury this, don’t hide it and don’t agree with leadership in a closed door meeting that we are just going to cover this up amongst ourselves so we can carry on with the same environment that allowed this to happen to begin with.  That’s as evil as the offense. 

Shame on us and Heaven forgive us.

My friend taught me something 8 years ago.  Something I never thought I would have to revisit and that I had to start teaching my 13 year old daughter those lessons now. 

If her story could keep it from happening to one more “Angie”, then it was worth it to tell.

Thank you, my friend.

Thus Endeth the Lesson...

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you. -Aldous Huxley

Vacation Bible School, hereunto and afterwards addressed lovingly as VBS has come and gone again this year.   A few years ago, I was a teacher of young spiritual seekers who sang songs loudly, held my hand and said they wish they could live with me and smiled as they took what was left of my sleep deprived sanity out the door.  Working all day and then rushing to finish another 3 hours of blessed rewards left me with one thought when it was all over…

Never again.

This year I was taking a course in downtown Chicago on how to have some shiny new hacking skillz.  Because I took the train timing just wouldn’t allow me to get to VBS in time to teach and guide young minds in the spiritual sarcasm that children do love me for.   

Especially my children.   

But many people pulled together and successfully created a plethora of enjoyable 5 nights of puppets, a live action show and a real toy store with its own monetary system.

Yes, our VBS had a “store” that children, who accomplished tasks, would earn fictitious money to spend in the store.  Oddly enough in these economic times, this play money had more worth than our current dollar.  The store was populated by the good people of the church who bought or made donations of actual American dollars for the purchasing of toys for ages 7 and below and 7 and above.  I’m not sure why the store was divided in age appropriate toys, I just know it was and therefore my youngest Collin who is 7 would be the one to break that rule.

"The wise know too well their weakness to assume infallibility; and he who knows most knows best how little he knows." ~ Thomas Jefferson

Working for a toy company I have acquired a small collection of toys for mainly babies and boys that are currently housed in totes around the house.  Most of it has been given away, and this seemed like a perfect opportunity to help out the VBS store.  Some collector die cast cars were given for the 7+ older section of the store because it was made known to everyone that is where a need was.  I had a large number of these.  The boys use to love them until they spent more time crashing them than playing with them.

"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf." ~ Walter Lippman

A few nights into VBS and I am home, and about 9:30PM the kids arrive with presents in tow from the VBS toy store.  Collin has candy and a sling shot.  Sure, why not?  That seems like a great idea. 

Brandon has one of the die cast cars that we gave away.

One of the die cast cars that were sitting in the garage for possibly years.  Sitting in the house.  And it was now back in the house.  I was confused.

“Brandon?”

“Yeah Dad?”

“Isn’t that the car we gave to the toy store?”

Of course it was the car.  What else was it going to be?  Sometimes I find myself asking inane questions because I am dumbfounded by what I am seeing going on in front of me.  I must have brought dozens of these cars home for the boy.  Different sizes, makes, models and some that were limited runs of production.  He never showed an interest in them except to play with them for a little bit, then crash 'em.  I stopped giving them to him because he didn’t have an interest in them anymore.  That’s why they were being stored, to give away.

“Yeah, it is Dad”

“Why?  How?  Why did you buy that?  Did it cost a lot of your VBS money?”

“I spent it all, and I had to borrow 8 VBS dollars from Jordan.”

My thought was WHAT?!  Why on earth would you borrow money to buy something I could have given you for free?!  But it came out differently than in my head when it made it to my mouth.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!  Why on earth would you borrow money to buy something I could have given you for free?!”

I could tell my inquiry and the tone of my voice I delivered it in caught him off guard.  

“I dunno”

“No, buddy, you need to explain why you would buy something, and borrow money from a friend, for something that I could have gotten out of the garage for you for nothing.”
His eyes got shaky here.  “The Car, It doesn’t mean anything.”

“WHAT?!”

I slowed down.  Something was different in his answer that wasn’t meshing with what he was TRYING to tell me.

“What do you mean by that, Brandon?”
“If you gave it to me, I didn’t earn it.  I didn’t do anything to get it.  I worked for this, I wanted to earn it.”
Quickly time stopped.  I scanned all the conversations I had with Brandon, all the lessons I stress test him on, all the Brandon/Dad time looking for this one.

Nada.  There was never a lesson about appreciating something you earned and having a feeling of accomplishment.  I figured he was a few years out from that.

I was wrong.

At ten years old Brandon picked up and learned that you appreciate something more that you worked hard to invest in.  Seems like a simple concept, but we blow it as adults.

We stop appreciating friendships and relationships that use to come so easy, we stop the hard work to invest in them.  We expect reciprocation of a greater amount than we have actually put in.  We take things for granted.  We take PEOPLE for granted.

There he was, looking at his earned item.  He left it in the box, since he didn’t want it ruined. 

It’s my job as his Dad to take this moment that he made himself and help him build on it.  So that he understands that in the future the investment he makes in his spouse, his job, and his friends and in his children will help him realize how important they are to him.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.